Citi that Never Sleeps

First let me ask you a question?

What do you think about the title?
probably about mumbai .. look at the title again
probably about metro movie.. nah

Its about our citi bank.. and my unique experience with UNIQUE citi bank.

Let me give a brief about my needs from the bank which led to write this blog.

I want to complete three things urgently in a single day.

1) pre-close a personal loan from citi bank by paying the balance
2) A bank statement for last 6 months
3) cheque deposit for 1,00,000

Actually, i have never been to citi bank in pune. I have a urgent need to complete all these things in a single day as i am travelling next day to my home for taking house loan.

After travelling for 1.5 hour in busy pune, i reached the only citi bank branch in our city..

As i went inside the bank, first thing i noticed is help desk and grand furniture. Ambiance is grandiose and lavishing. But, to my enthusiastic observation, most of the seats are empty in the bank at 10.30 AM. Most of the people are lazy moving from one place to another place. It looks like they are working in a government accounts office.

Lazily, i started my conversation with citi bank help desk officer.
me: "Hi! I want to deposit the cheque"
Citi helpdesk Office: "You came here to deposit the cheque. You could have done it any ATM. You are never required to come citi bank for that". I was surprised by rashness in her voice. She looked at me like a illiterate. I immediately checked my dress. I am also having my company tag on my neck.


I replied "I am having some other works. I Also want to have 6 month bank statement"
"sorry sir. We will not give bank statements in the bank. You need to talk to call centre and get it in registered post." rash tone continued.


I was surprised "What? I already got bank statement in hyderabad from the bank. Also, i got it in registered post 2 to 3 times"
citi now changed to soft tone. "Yes sir. We used to do that in last year. Currently, we are not doing it. You have to talk to call centre people to get it in the post. It will come in 3-5 days. You are never required to come citi bank for that" She is looking at me to check if that created enough confusion on my face or not.


me: "Its urgent for me. I am travelling today and I need to submit it for my house loan. That is why i came to bank today"
citi: "I can not help it sir. you can get print outs from outside and we will stamp on it if you need"
I was completely exhausted after intense argument with her.
'WTF %#*&' i murmured lot of good telugu words

I just called citi phone at the same time from same place. ring ring ring
Please wait all our Citibank officers busy.. Your call will be attended .... followed by musical tone.

1 min.. 2 min.. 3 min..

Thanks for your patience. Please wait all our Citibank officers busy.. Your call will be attended in 11 minutes

'oh WTF' again... tick tick...Waited for long 11 minutes. Listening to some music or song. After every minute.. same statement repeated.

press 1 for Citibank credit card/ debit card customers
press 2 for some Vysya bank customers
pressed 1

Please provide your debit card number followed by 4 digit TPIN or city code followed by account no. I have provided debit card number but with wrong credit card TPIN in desperation to connect to the call.

"Sorry. Details entered by you are incorrect" .. Call went off after 20 minutes of intense mental torture.

"Oh shit"

I tried 2-3 times with wrong TPIN and waited for 20 minuts then i got my mental composition back. Entered account number next time.

Citi Phone Officer: "How can i help you sir?"
me: "Hi. I want a bank statement for last 6 months"

Citi after asking some stupid security questions and verification "okay sir. Your statement will reach you in 5 days"
me: "No. I want it urgently. Please provide the options. "

citi: "If you want it urgently we can provide in 3 days or you can walk into the branch and get it on the same day"
me: "I am already in pune bank and exactly at help desk"

citi:"Sorry sir. Pune bank doesn't have the facility now. You can only get in 3 days"
me:"Is it possible if i go to hyderabad bank, i will get bank statement tomorrow? I will be in hyderabad for tomorrow"

citi:"No sir. In Hyderabad, you will get in one day later. Do you want me to place the order for statement?"
me:"I want it by tomorrow at any cost"

citi in long deep tone: "sooorry sir. I can not help it. Any thing else i can help"
me:"Nothing" already resigned by that time.

citi: "Thank you sir. I hope i have answered all your questions"

me: "No"
She disconnected the call.

I have deposited the cheque and came back to help desk to ask about pre-closure of personal loan. This time, she directed to personal loan branch which is in the ground floor with out even looking at me.

Please note the Time 11.40 AM.
I have been greeted by empty chairs and empty rooms in the ground floor. Probably early lunch time. Only one person is present in the personal loan branch. 10 empty seats and 10 blank computers showing citi bank screen savers in that room.

I greeted that person my self as he is very busy in reading news paper.

me: "Hi! Can you please tell me on how to close the personal loan?"
citi personal loan officer: "What you mean by close the personal loan?"

me: "I want to pay the remaining balance amount and close the personal loan"
citi: "Oh.. you are talking about pre-closure"

'saale.. aur kya soch raha hain.. yaha pe cleaning karne ke liye aaya kya' my mind was blown out.

I replied in good composure exactly opposite of what my mind just replied "Yes. Please let me know the procedure"

citi: "Oh. I am new to pune office. In fact, i also do not know the procedure. Please let me call my collegue"

He called his collegue and after some 5 minutes
" My collegue saying that You are never required to come citi bank for that. You need to call citi phone officer and ask details. He has given the number XXXXXXXX"

"I can not wait for 2-3 days until citi officer arrives at my office. I want to close urgently. Thats why i came to the office"
"Sorry sir. You need to call citi phone officer and know the procedure.You are never required to come citi bank for that"

"Then what is the use of the bank? I never required to come to citi bank for any thing. Not for cheque deposit. Not for 6 months bank statement. Not for even preclosure the personal loan. Then why did you kept this bank here in pune?" I directly asked the poor chap.

'WTF!!!!!! F%&K!!!!!A******!!!!!! WTF!!!!!WTF!!!!!! WTF!!!!!WTF!!!!!! WTF!!!!!WTF!!!!!! WTF!!!!!' my mind desperately rearraging all the good words in english.

_________________________________________________________________

This is good lesson for automatic world. Currently, Every thing in this world made mobile. You can pay all types of bills on mobile. You get people to your door step by just a call. You can get personal loan with just a phone call. You get your bank balance in a phone call. While these things might increase the convenience for some people, it actually increases the complexity for others who can not wait for some one coming at thier door step.

So, Don't bank on banks, atleast for citi bank.